Race Review - The Summer Beast - 15th Sept 2013

I love this race, I can rock up, run a 10 mile obstacle course and then quietly disappear afterwards. The simple, raw feel of the race is great, no "HooRa's", "Hell Yeah's" or "Ar Roo's". Its a hilly trail run through a magnificent horse trials course with an added water obstacle. Having the option to complete one or two, 5 mile loops was never a real option for me. Of course I'll be pushing myself for 10 miles. I have done this race 3 or 4 times now and always enjoyed the tough terrain and the fast pace of the race.

I somehow ended up on the front row of the starting line, and from the countdown I took the lead for the first half mile. I then made a pretty dumb decision at the water wade. I took a wider route and chose to swim rather than wade. This cost me lots more time and energy, and by the time I was out of the water the the lead had been taken by a dude in black and he was pulling away with ease.

After the water the course becomes pretty hilly and and just don't have the legs to pound up these bad boys, I was starting to loose the odd place but after the first lap I was pretty confident I was in the top 10. The second lap was hard going every horse jump seemed higher, slippier, and harder to leap. I made a better decision to wade rather than swim on the second lap which made life much easier. My male chauvinism came into play half way round the 2nd lap with the fastest lady on the course gaining on my and hanging on to my heels. I was determined not to be beaten by a lady, and pushed hard to try and loose my skirt wearing shadow (she was wearing shorts not a skirt, but it doesn't alliterate as nicely as skirt) but I just couldn't shake her. In the final mile she pulled away and took a good 10 seconds from me, I was happy with my efforts, and my legs were screaming and lungs gasping, I couldn't have run any harder.

When finishing I caught up with the lady and congratulated her and a few other male runners I had been trading places with all morning. I quickly grabbed my keys from the key drop and headed home. I usualy stop for one of the stunning burgers from the local butchers stall. But today I was rushing back as i was on taxi duties in the afternoon, and have DIY jobs to deal with.

A great race, an incredible challenge and for the first time I ran every step (apart from stopping at a water station) including the uphills.

http://thebeastrun.co.uk/

Race Review - Wild Thing - 8th Sept 2013

I want this one. I really want this one. This is my backyard. I've ran this course 5 maybe 6 times now, and each time I have posted higher up the standings. I am faster now than I was before. The obstacles have never been an issue, just the running between. But now I am a runner! Once on site, I did all the signing in and registration things for myself, family and friends, I had time for a little stretching and pre-race toilet visits.

The safety brief and warm up was great fun, and i got spotted by the the warm up guy who I've seen at enough events now to be quite pally with. The warm up was fantastic, and Anthony from nrgize was on great form. From the warm up I nudged up to the front line and waited for the countdown. From the gun i sprinted hard with my pal, and arch nemesis, JP, and we cleared the first two obstacles with a clear lead on the pelaton. It is usual at this point in a race to start loosing places to the faster runners, but we managed to keep ahead of the game.

About half way round the first lap I had pulled nicely away from JP but I had picked up a shadow in a white t-shirt. Mr White kept me pushing hard, as I couldn't loose him no matted how fast I vaulted hay bales or trudged through mud, but I was managing to pull away on the running as I entered the final 500 meters on the first lap and a cargo net climb I heard an "Alright Paz" at JP streaked over the cargo net and skidded down the other side "You F***er" was my eloquent reply, swiftly followed by a cargo net fall, scramble, and sprint to catch up with JP. We had a bit of chat and tried to push hard to make it round before the next wave started their 1st lap. We didn't quite make it in time and had to join the melee of runners starting their 1st lap. JP and Mr White chose better lines and made it through the back markers much faster.

It took me 2.5 km to regain my lead, but I was feeling strong and started pulling away nicely. I was pushing hard to increase the gap I had rebuilt, the obstacles were not slowing me down too much and I was picking up the pace on the running elements too. But then disaster struck I leaped across a thick muddy trench and I as I climbed out, my running shoe stayed firmly were it was. I grabbed and pulled my shoe free and threw it too the end of the obstacle and chased it down. I tried to get my foot back in the show but it just wasn't happening. so I picked it up and ran with it, like I was Jonah Lomu. The course was far too stone strewn and hurt my feet too much so I stopped, undid the laces, put the shoe back on, and retied. This took a good couple of minutes, enough time for Mr white to cruise past me. My un-gentlemanly outburst of rather colourful language would have made a sailor blush, and earned a tongue lashing from my mother if she had heard. (the outburst was clearly directed at my shoe and not fellow competitors)

I then added to my stupidity and frustration by sprinted at full pace to try and make up some of the lost time. This sprint ended abruptly in tunnel vision, vertigo, burning lungs and an over whelming desire to vomit. I took this as a sign to bring it down a couple of gears, took it easy once I was in the next water obstacle. It was a super hard slog over the next 2km. JP caught up with me and we worked together in the last 1km to try and catch Mr White, but his lead was too great. JP took a slight lead over the final obstacles but generously slowed so we could cross the line at the same time.

I was incredibly proud of my run, and devastated by the shoe incident, but I managed to come joint 2nd in my wave and 23rd overall. I now have the tortures and nightmares of 'if only' and 'what if' to contend with when I look back at the race.

But hey ho. I had a great run, my step son did his first obstacle race, and I was very proud of him. All in all, no injuries, finished in the top 2% and felt fasted and fitter. Can't wait for my next race now!

 www.xrunner.co.uk

Race Review - Total Warrior 10mile - 4th August 2013

Total Warrior 10 miles - Clean at the start of the race

I reviewed and took you through the course yesterday on the 10km race, and today is the same course but with an added 3.8 mile trail run which I'll come to later on.

Again the morning started with a very pleasant walk through Shap village to the event village, and the super slickness continued with registration and bag dropping. Even the pre gun motivation and briefing seem that little bit slicker today, and the gun music today was the rousing fire starter from prodigy. I wasn't planning on running with Pete from Mudstacle but from the gun I took a nice wide route to avoid the crush, on the first downhill Pete's long legs came in to their own bounding down the hill in about three giant steps. I caught up with him on the uphill, and so the day went for the next hour and 45 mins, with Pete and myself running together, overtaking on obstacles or runs. It was great to pushed to catch up after the obstacles I struggled on, and felt good to pull away on the obstacles and runs I felt more at ease on.

Total Warrior 10 miles - In full hippy mode

On the 3.8 run it was 2 miles of uphill slog through wet soaked marshland, the hills were not too step but the constant drag force the group of runners we were in to take breaks for walking. Anyone who ran the entire way to the top is a legend and deserves huge respect and a free massage. The run back to the main course was incredible. Stunning views, soft ground underfoot, extra speed from the downhill nature. This was trail running at its best. Always on the edge of falling over. Needing to watch every step, but at the same time running like a kid, if i hadn't have been running with Pete at this point, I may have just thrown my hands in air and shouted 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' all the way down the hill.

It was now back on the obstacle course from Saturday's 10km, the course was much muddier after last nights down pour and being churned up by 4500 runners. This added so much to the course, all obstacles covered in a coating of slime, mad every vault, drag, pull, crawl and step, that little bit more challenging. The water dunks seems colder, smellier, and even managed to drain more energy today. Amazingly the integrity and quality of the obstacles was impeccable, no splinters, no breakages, no failures. This is a true testament to the skill and engineering of the course builders. Brave Sirs, BRA-bloody-VO!

Total Warrior 10 miles - Running through fire

The rest of the course remained unchanged, although the the water slide was longer due to wetter slicker grass at the base, causing another out of control slide. The final hill was a killer and went into Sunday plodder mode, and managed to run (slow jog / plod) all the way to the final wall. Pete was right on my heel and we were side by side on the final monkey bars. With my short arms and legs my feet couldn't touch the water, but with Pete's added lank he has lift his legs to keep his knees out the water. 2 days on the trot I've nailed the monkey bars, but Pete only managed to get half way.


What a privileged to run that course with the added trail run. I struggle to find anything wrong with the entire weekend but if the Total Warrior guys want a couple of  areas to improve on.

1. Water station on the 10 km was a little too close to an obstacle.
2. Add a bottle bar with plastic bottles to the beer tent.
3. Add a 'quite camping' area for those, like me, who are too old and grumpy to party all night after a race :)

That's it, that's all I can think of after being on site for 2 days, racing hard, and using the facilities. So close to perfection, its scary! Oh and there may have been a quite camping area, I just never asked.

Race Review - Total Warrior 10km - 3rd August 2013

This is the second weekend in a row with my alarm clock set for 5am. Urgh. I was pretty much ready to wake up put clothes on a get in the camper. I had the genius plan of packing the van the night before. So it was wake, dress, drive, drive, drive, drive, stop for wee, drive drive. I got to the camp site for about 0815, picked up my camp pass and set up the camper.

It was a 20 minute walk to the event village so I got ready in to race gear and headed over. The village of Shap is beautiful and it felt like the whole village was behind the event, with local pubs putting out signs welcoming Total Warriors, even the local cafe had a 'Total Warrior special'. Once at the event village, the scale of this event started to become clear. Huge fields for cars to park in, lots of marshals giving directions and help. Once in the main barn, large impressive banners take your through the 4 step registration process. I went from standing in running kit with valuables and a bag, to a headband wearing, race numbered, temporary tattoo'd, bag stashed warrior in a total of 5 minutes. Total Warrior isn't just a well oiled machine, its a well oiled slick machine made of Teflon, lithium grease and baby oil.

Well I had given my self an hour to get through registration and now had 55 minutes to potter around the stalls check out the views and the parts of the course you could see from the event village. The views from here are stunning, and the obstacles looks very impressive too. I start doing a few stretches and warms up to keep my self busy. chatted to a few people around the start area too, which was great fun. With 20 minutes to go we were called into the starting pen for safety briefings and motivation.

3...2...1... GO! we all run off to the sounds of Blur's 'Song 2' which pumps out adrenalin and energy with every beat. I take a wide line so get around as many people as possible, and get up towards the front of the wave. The first km was brutal, running down a steep hill, then back up, then back down, up again with a clamber at the very top. This sapped the energy very quickly, and very quickly thinned the pack down, ready for the fire leap and 'human BBQ'. The heat was pretty impressive and a fun obstacle. The heat was pretty short lived as we were soon running through a shallow stream. and up another hill. Oh and then another hill with massive tree trunks to climb over.

Mud hills and water filled dips followed by, 3 foot, 4 foot and 5 foot walls to vault and climb over break up any running you tried to break into. A short run through the moorland and it was time for the first log carry of the day a short trip up a hill and back again. It was now time to stretch the legs and get in 1 maybe 2 kilometres of running through wet, marshy moorland, the running was energy sapping with hidden sink holes and the old boulder thrown in for good measure. After a quick water stop it was back on e our hands and knees crawling through thick mud underneath a web of barbed wire. I managed to snag my running vest hear, but luckily didn't snag any skin. the crawl was quickly followed by a great set of hurdles in 50 cm of thick muddy water, next up are uphill tunnels, balance beams, hay bales in water to climb over, and plunge pools.

Now came one of the best obstacles I've encountered in a long time, a boxed in spiders web of bailing string. pitch black once you entered the web. It was brutal and frustrating slow to navigate, a real way to mix it up and increase the fun factor. Once back into the day light it was the 7 foot walls that dominated the horizon, luckily their were a couple of foot holds near the base so I could take a step up and reach the top and drag myself over. This course is very tough and the spacing of the obstacles means there is never much of a run before another obstacle pops up. The next obstacle was a horrible tyre tunnel crawl, tight spaced and very uncomfortable, even though its only 5 or 6 meters long you come out battered and bruised. a few more semi submerged hurdles and a horrifying steep hill to climb aided with a cargo net carpet.

Once out into the open after the cargo climb we were inside the final mile and the obstacles become bigger and defiantly come under the category 'one for the crowds'. A long archway with dangling electric wires was next, my views on electric shock obstacles is always one of 'why bother' and they are just a gimmick. But. They are crowd pleasers, although this was was turned down pretty low so the crowd probably didn't get screams and induced epilepsy they came to see. It was then a hard hill climb to the top of the water slide. This was a pretty epic water slide with lots of water, washing up liquid. A healthy run up and leap suddenly seemed like a very stupid when I was gathering a scary amount of speed and had one leg stuck under the other. i lost control and ended up going head first on my back. Even when the tarpaulin ended I carried on at some speed on the soaked grass. It was only when the ground dried up and the extra drag factor caused by my shorts filling with grass and soil did I final stop. Is was an amazing rush and filled my body with adrenalin ready for the run and climb up the steep wooden wall.

Another log carry up, down,. back up and down another big hill was murder on the legs, but it was then a down hill run to the river. I nearly lost it on the uneven ground, locking out my leg when I should have been keeping them bent and ready for the rock and roll. I desperate leap stopped me from snapping my leg or taking a real bad tumble. This only happened over a couple of seconds but scared the crap out of me and the guy behind me who swore even louder than I did. It was soon forgotten with a swim across the river and rope climb to back back up to the bridge to cross the river the easy way. It was killer run up the final hill to the event village. The final wall climb at the end wasn't too tricky, but the monkey bars at the end were a nightmare. With huge crowds gathering to cheer the successful and jeer those that dropped into the water below. The pressure was enough to strengthen my shoulders and forearms to make it across drop down the final hay bail and cross the line.

What a great race, after I finished I say in the sun on the grass,  relaxed, with the free beer, cliff bar, water and Kendal mint cake. I chatted with other finishers, and proudly got changed into my finishers t-shirt. I didn't hand around too much, but collected my kit and headed back to the camp site feeling super proud of myself. I chatted to those walking up to the event, about the course and they quizzed me tactics and details of the course. I got back, showered, changed and had a half hour snooze in the sun, before having some food, followed by another snooze. Read my book for a while then had another little snooze before heading back up to the site to check out the post race party.

Back up at the event village I ran into Peter from mudstacle and had a beer and good old chat. The party was great fun, but I could barely walk let alone dance, so I pottered about chatted to a few guys I recognised from the day's race including a local fell runner with some incredible tattoos and attitude. I stopped in at the Shap chippy for some more food. My God they server the greatest curry sauce I've ever had in a chippy! decent sized portion and cheeky battered sausage filled me up before heading back to get an early night ready for tomorrow.

Race Review - The Norse Challenge 10km - 28th July 2013

I was very happy and excited to be asked by mudstacle.com to race and review at the Norse Challenge race in Northumberland. From their website and Facebook page it was looking like a great event. So I agreed and wryly smiled at the thought of the 6 hour round trip to Drudridge and back.

I arrived at the park entrance about 50 minutes before my wave start time which should give me time to pick up my race number and go through my pre race routines. Although I was soon confronted with a long row of cars with brake lights on. It took a good 5 minutes to get to the head of the queue were 2 blokes were collecting 2 pounds for parking. This wasn't a good sign. Why didn't the organisors add the 2 pounds to the entry price and make parking easier and much quicker? Especially as the line of cars was now getting even longer behind me.

Once parked up I saw the queue for registration had started, so I decided to join the queue and get changed once I had my race number, rather than letting the queue get bigger. The queue barely seemed to be moving, but the rain was moving at quite a rate. I was lucky to be in trackies, hoody and waterproof jacket, others around me were in race kit and already starting to shiver. After 30 minutes of queuing and only moving a few meters I got chatting with people around me in the queue. It turns out they had all sorts of problems sending out race numbers in the post, so all the registrants were picking up numbers from the desk. But we never saw anyone coming out the registration tent with a number.

It was now 0920. I was meant to be starting in 10 mins. I thought sod it, I can register after the race, and by the look of the ever growing queue, they would never notice. So I ran to my car and quickly got changed, gulped down an energy gel and ibuprofen and headed off to a large gathering of runners.
"is this the start?"
"No idea spuggy"
"Alright cheers"

I then spotted a large group of runners from an athletics club, jogging off trough the car park, I picked up my knees and followed them, as do 30 or 40 other runners.
"Is this the start then?"
"No idea, we's just warmin oop 'n' waitin"
"balls, I followed you guys as it looked like you knew what you were doing"
"sorry pal, the organisation isn't too canny is it?" - I'm adding quite a bit of 'northern' speak as i couldn't understand half of what they were actually saying.
I then run over to the registration tent to ask were the start line is.
"Over there" he pointed in the rough direction I've just came from
"I've just come from over there, and couldn't see a start line"
"no idea then"
"......"
speechless, absolutely speechless that race organizers or marshals haven't been told were the start line is. It's a fairly important part of a race.

I re-join the rabble of damp, wave 1, runners who are doing their best to keep cheerful. Suddenly like wildfire through dry grass field, a message spreads that wave 1 is delayed by 45 minutes. The wet wondering would-be runners head en-mass to the cafe and visitors center to try and get a little warmth and shelter away from the northern persistent precipitation. Suddenly after some milling around, a cheer goes up and we all dash outside.
"Are we starting?"
"Dunno pet, I'm jus' followin' the crowd like"
"Cheers me duck" I throw in some Derbyshire dialect to make sure I'm mistaken from a Northerner
No officials to be seen, we just stand around and try our best to keep warm. I even have time to pose for a photo and even do an interview for SKY Tyne and Wear about the race and the conditions. It was quite funny as he bloke interviewing me ask what did I think of the conditions, and I replied "Perfect, Perfect for running in mud"

This photo sums up my mood on the day

Another report of 10 minutes until the start went round and we all took shelter in and around the visitors center. One member of staff at the visitors center, saw the miserable state people were starting to get into, shivering and wet through and through. He opened up an extra area which was under construction, but was dry and big enough to house most of the runners. He also handed out bin liners to keep the rain off and the warmth close. After the 10 minute wait we all wondered to the start area. Still nothing to mark the start area or line, but we had be told it was near a green Land Rover in a car park. Maybe this is a orienteering / puzzle / obstacle course? Guess the start time, and your next challenge is finding the start line.

Then one of the organisers came over and was mobbed in anticipation. "Sorry the race has been cancelled due to worsening conditions" after lots of head shaking and frowns, I decided it was best to get my keys from the key drop and get off site, before the car park was churned up and everyone else had the same idea. At the key drop off, people were still being registered and dropping off keys.
"are you dropping or picking up keys pet?"
"picking up, the race as just been cancelled. hasn't it?"
"I think just the water obstacles have been cancelled"
"I'll grab my keys anyway"

Stepping out of the tent the Exodus was under-way. To be honest. If the organisation is this piss poor, and the race is on, less the water obstacles, I don't think I would want to run a race were the organisation is so bad. What happens if I get injured? Are the medical staff sticking around? I'm I going to get lost because they haven't marked the course out? Are the obstacles safe? I may be an obstacle course racer, and love the thrill and challenge of the obstacles. But am I stupid and and reckless enough to put myself in unnecessary danger, when I'm 168 miles from home? Nope.

I Jump in the car soaking wet and start the fight to get out the car park. I stop later on  a few miles down the road to get changed. What a wasted day.

Race Review - Water Wipeout 29th June 2013

Rocked up on site an hour before the gun for our wave, and went through the usual signing of waivers, toilet stop and checking out the course. We then started the briefing and warm up. I must have done too many X-Runner races as the warm up guy now recognizes me and gives me grief! Maybe its time to shave the beard and resume anonymity. The warm up was fantastic, and was both motivating and great for getting prepared for the race.

From the gun JP and I pushed to get into the top 10 to ensure a clear run at the hay bail pyramid, which was a nice warm up to the obstacles. The next obstacle is the open water swim. Swimming has never been my thing, I can't do breast stroke at all and my front crawl is 'un-orthodox' at best. once I had waded out of my depth I put my shoulders and arms to work. To my great surprise my swimming was strong enough to maintain my spot in the top 10, and because my lack of co-ordination means it was all upper body, my legs felt rested after the 150 meter swim, and I could push up into the top 5. After a few minor obstacles we were in the woods on a great trail run, I managed to lose an energy gel I had stuffed in my shorts which was a pain but easily forgotten about.

Through the trails I managed to push up to the lead of our wave and was feeling comfortable. A bit water slide and short swim broke up the trail run and was great fun. A few cargo nets, balance beams and duck and vault obstacles and yet another dunking. As I approached the final km of the first lap there was a cargo net climb, this was the first bottle neck I had hit i was force to wait and queue, this was frustrating and allowed runners to catch up and over take as i was stuck behind a runner struggling getting over the top.

It was now a race to cross more water and get onto the 2nd lap in under 2 minutes to avoid being behind the wave due to start shortly. But the gun went whilst I was in the water meaning the start of the 2nd lap would be littered with runners. I was 2 minutes behind the wave and the hay bales were clear as I reached them, but the open water swim looked more like beach on a hot sunny day with free money floating in the water. After my lap 1 success in the water I took a wide path and swam hard. I must have overtaken 50 to a 100 people in the water, mainly due to lots of people in buoyancy aids doggy paddling.

There was still a lot of back markers to run through once out of the water, my mate JP was wearing bright orange and an easy target to spot and try and chase down. at the next water obstacle, which was a 6 meter pond to wade through. I knew it was waist deep after a meter or so, so i took a huge running leap, making it half way across before getting wet. this worked a treat and managed to pass a dozen people as I flew through the air. I couldn't gain any time on JP and he was always 100 to 200 meters ahead. He kept this lead all the way to the finish and over it. I finished about 45 seconds after my rival and mate.

After a quick home made shower and dry off, I caught up with an old friend and then went to watch Steve Cram start his race.

with the preliminary results in I was 37th and Steve Cram 281st

So for the only time I will ever get to beat Steve Cram in race, I am absolutely stoked!

http://www.x-runner.co.uk

Summary: A great race, with lots of swimming, and a very slick organisation team.

Race Review - The Pain and Suffering - 23rd June 2013

I arrived an hour early and joined the queue for toilets, if I've learnt nothing else from events, its to go tot loo as early as possible, to avoid the queues and the rapid degradation of the toilet's condition. With that out the way its off to join the back of the queue for my race pack. I pin my number on and attach my timing chip and  start my pre race prep. I wonder over with about 20 minutes to go, drop off my key and get ready for some stretching and warm ups. "10, 9, 8...". What? the first wave is starting? I thought I had 15 minutes to stretch and warm up? "3,2..." fair enough, I'll just forego my warm up. "Go". Not a fan of starting right at the back of 150 runners, but it didn't take long to get up to the leading group.

The pace was fairly steady and course was pretty flat a tire leap was the first 'obstacle', and after about half a mile the runners had spread out to single file. the 2nd obstacle of an under tarpaulin crawl was sandwiched with 10 press ups either side of the tarp. This was good fun but I did have my doubts to the numeracy skills of some of my fellow runners! More running and a few large, fallen, tree trucks to run along the top off, this again was great fun and a fun alternative to just leaping over them.

The course was clearly going to be lots of running with a sparse amount of horse fence style obstacles. Not really up to claims of "pain and suffering". But soon enough came a great obstacle, we had to carry 2 large heavy water containers around, down and then back up a small quarry / bomb hole. This slowed everyone down to a walk, and was a great challenge. it was then back onto the running. but after running to the other side of a small valley another water container carry was in store. There was a little confusion with the marshals whether we should have 1 or 2 containers, but we settled on one. this time the containers had to be carried around a similar small quarry but with added 1/2 meter boxes to climb over and tarpaulins to crawl under. Again great fun and a fresh approach to obstacle racing. It was now time for another long run around farmers fields.

Obsticles blur into each other at this point as there were very few noteworthy ones. The more memorable zone was a zig-zag route up and down a very steep hill side with a marshal enforcing press ups and site ups at the top of each leg. this was an energy sapping zone and worthy or the pain and suffering title. after more bland running, there was a great tire carry up the bank to the castle walls its self. but with no marker to tell you when to turn and head back to the tire pile it seemed a little confusing. A few more miles of running, horse jumps, and a barbed wire crawl and I was back insight of the car park. The final 1/2 mile of the course was great, a muddy trench to navigate, followed by a wall, monkey bars, wall, monkey bars, wall. the walls got higher with each phase, and I was greatly impressed to see marshals giving press up forfeits to those that couldn't manage the obstacles. I luckily had enough energy and upper body strength to complete the monkey bars and walls, only need a helping hand on the final highest wall.

http://www.thesufferingrace.co.uk/

In summary: A good 10 mile cross country run, but only a very average obstacle race, with only a couple of obstacles of any note, and all three of them being 'carry' obstacles.